E Way of Life

2011-01-04T23:55:00.002+08:00

i'm back. finally after 2 yrs of nt updating. basically, new yr. where every1 has a resolution to make a difference in their life. so do i. leaving all e past behind. looking forward for a better vision n mission. all this while, e lonely feeling in me still e same. e same lady who i really love in life left me for the 3rd time in my life. i asked her, what did i do wrong till she did this to me. aft yrs of nt crying for the person who i really love. she did. i was down at tt moment. things happened for a reason. like what i told her before. same goes to my close buddy who told me this before. maybe this is the way of my life. sometimes, i asked god. why can't i hv the person of my choice and the person who really love. till today, i'm still asking why. god has his reason for all this thing to happen. i feel grateful god has a plan for me. alhamdulillah. syukur kepada mu ya allah.

most of my friend r engage. so do my close buddy. every1 is asking about me. told them, nt in a rush. like a phrase being said, good men r for good women and good things are for those who wait patience. i know god is testing my patience. he wants to see how i handle the situation. aku redha pade mu ya allah. feel like i got trauma. trauma of what happened and what she did to me. there's no point 4 her to prove to me about learning quran with her father. u should have just gone for good. why still bother about me. u said that u hurt me a lot. and don't want to hurt anymore but you did it again. mark my words, i'll never forgive you for the rest of my life till i face god on judgement day. yes, even prophet forgave his people. sometimes, this bunch of people took advantage. life still goes on aftall. i kept dreaming about her coming back. finally, its a sign. on top of that, another dream which telling me you're my destiny. it can never be the same even if you tried your best. u sms me asking about learning quran. stop pretending, please don't do it because of her but because of allah. stop being an hypocrite and 2 face human being. your words doesn't mean anything to me anymore. you know that i'll never forgive you anymore. that's the reason why you do this. when i owe you a favour, all you will ask in return is to forgive you. sorry, my heart says no. you've hurt me too much. a phrase saying, hina besi kerana karat, hina manusia kerana budi. maybe your parent don't know how to nurture you with the value of being a true person but instead being a big time liar in life. maybe now, you can be in happy phase. but allah is always looking. he'll give e punishment according to what you did last time. lucky for me, to have all the beautiful and wonderful people in my life. my blood, my foster family, my stn personnel. i would to say thank you to aji, fitri, huda, mary, ashik and asri for being there for me. during the hard time of my life. w/o this people, i would have lost myself. i volunteer to help people outside my country. that's the nature of my job. to make a difference in my life. i know that making a difference in people's life is a good thing. sometimes, people are asking why i risk my own life to save others. simple i replied, if i don't do it. who else wants to do.

from 2011, all i want is to achieve my goals and all i asked from allah is to take her far away from my heart and my life. and give me the strength to overcome all the obstacle. amin

2009-09-26T23:13:00.022+08:00

alhamdulillah, 6 mths of trg came 2 end. was surprised i made it this far in life. thx 2 e ppl ard me who give me their support.

2009-07-18T22:26:00.002+08:00

alhamdulillah, make it thru e 2nd phase of ERS. currently, on HTA course. sooner will b brunei. life so far had been up n dwn. confused and scared of histoy repeating by itself. e feeling of fallin in love again is there. bt scared of putting e high hopes on it. e lady who i had known 4 bout 1 yr. wanted 2 tell her what i feel bout her bt e feeling of bein avoid is in my state of mind. she told me, kite TTM anyway. which means teman tap mesra. i didn´t knw whether she suspected me of havin e feelin 2wards her. 4 me, bein honest is my policy bt does e honesty that i potray paid off eventually. i didn´t want 2 make her in a confused state. 2 men n a lady. it´s me or e other guy. sometimes, i dun knw y i was bein tested this way. is it a sin 4 me 2 fall in love n b with e lady who will b by my side till my last breath.

scared of she would think that all this while tt i helped her is due 2 havin e feelin 4 her. only allah knws hw i feel. i´ve been askin this 2 myself, will i ever get e lady tt i really love n fall 4 in life. i take things positively. things happened in life has its reason. i do admit i feel lonely at times. e loneliness tts killin me sometimes. its nt bout bein desperade bt e feelin of bein alone aft all this yrs. sometimes, i do asked myself, will there b light again in my life. it seems tt it will nvr hv. bt a fren kept me motivated just hang on there. some1 who u´ve been watin 4 will b there, its just a matter of time. she had told me this, alr uncle 2 15 nephew niece yet still solo n nt plannin yet 2 settle dwn. i dun what she meant by tt. if i confessed, will she b able to accept e fact. scared of bein avoid like e previous 1. i go with e flow 4 nw n focus on my ersc n degree which will start soon. ya allah, show me e path 2 e light side n show me who is she tt will b by my side till my last breath.

till here then

2009-04-03T20:34:00.003+08:00

Its been a long time since i update. basically, here i am almost reaching my goals in life. alhamdulillah, finally i´ve sign e contract. will b reporting in to camp on tue morning. starting of a new phase of my life. definitely, i would like to congrats my former capt firdaus on his engagement with 1 of e fighter raudah. may allah bless them. 2ndly, my mak angkat alr started asking me where is my gf. i was like wtf. i understand what u mean. bt i need 2 find e correct person who will b spending 2gether with me 4 e rest of my life. basically, trying 2 get 2 knw a lady more. been waiting 4 her 2 add me at msn. i just pray hard tt she will add me. if nt i would just go on with life like normal. bt its seem there somethin special bout her tt attract me. her smile, her conversation n her personality. sometimes, her expression makes me heart throbbing. is she e lady i´ve been finding all this while. bid my farewell 2 her yest during lunch time. bought her a choc fr cocoa tree. definitely, hope 2 keep in touch with her even if we r nt destined.

mayb there r reason y all this happened. patience is e key 2 everythin. ku redhai kepada mu ya allah.

till here then.......

2009-01-28T23:10:00.001+08:00

1st of all, I would like to say alhamdulillah. I managed to get the ERS job which I applied for last dec. 2nd is that I passed my fyp. get a C grade. don't care much already as long as I can graduate on time would be good enough. since every good news came on the same day the HQ CD and my friend told me about my fyp grade. i think that there are blessing in disguise after a long time of waiting. i'm almost reaching the stars and also my dream of getting the job that i want. i wouldn't have make it this far without the love ones.

basically, my 2 mak angkat who guided me all this years and keep me motivated to moved on even though there are obstacles that I faced. my blood brother's who have been around since sec days. the misfits who always colored me and also without them I would not have make it this. the honeyweller's especially kak alice who warn me about study and the team from ISC and engine. and especially to my brother and mom. the 2 people who whipped me when I was young to study for my future. now what I have to do is since everything come as 1 whole good news. definitely, i would need to donate a bit to mosque even though the amount is small. about me currently, single for the past 2 years. basically, i'm entering ERS in april the nearest intake. 6 months of hell. but i'm prepare to take the heat on. i want to be different in career track from others. so i don't think can commit to any r/s for the next 6 months till i pass out of ERS. things going smoothly as i plan. able to start degree program once passing out from ERS. wish to go for dart in the years to come. i do hope people out there who know me pray for my success. i know that pain is temporary but pride will be forever. there are few more peoples who are dear to my life. i don't know how to express myself how dear they are to me. only allah knows about it. from now onwards, i would like to bring myself together and never look back on what happened previously. maybe all this happened due to some reason. i always prayed that my destiny with the lady of my life and soleha. sometimes, the wishes that i had in me doesn't came true. but patience is the key to everything in life. so learning to be more patience in life instead of just hot-headed easily.

result in few more weeks and graduation is about 3 months away. I'm looking forward for it. the day where I wear those graduation robe chin up and be proud that I made this far in life. In years to come, i'm no longer student in fact adults who will out in the industry and also building up my own family once I meet the lady of my life. to the people out who help me all this while. I just want to express how dear you all to me and would never forget you all till my last breath.

till here then.......

2008-12-29T22:40:00.000+08:00

Alhamdulillah, FYP coming to an end soon. Basically, life been a bit better for me as i did managed to get to know a new friend from ngee ann poly. All this could not be achieved with the people around me helping me to move on to the next stage of life. As I’ve been haunted by the trauma of the previous problem. I would like to say thank you to those who help me out all this while. These are the band of brothers that i respect in life. Helping each and everyone when there are problem. And i was shortlisted for ERS. The interview will be on 7 Jan which is next week. Pray hard that i’m able to get the job as it means a lot to me. This will decide whether i can complete my degree by late 25. Graduation is about 1 month away. I always pray that i graduate on time.
Getting to know a new friend from ngee ann. Giving the opportunity to find the replacement of the lady that left me a year ago. I was depressed of what happened a year ago. Giving me all kind of plain excuses of unable to be my companion due to the situation that we are facing. But allah was show who are in the wrong and who are in the correct position. I didn’t knew that the lady that i love with my whole heart sincerely are so cunning and also cruel behind my back. A friend told me bring myself together and never look back on what happened. I did managed to fight this problem. After getting to know this lady from ngee ann poly. We both had the same thinking and common grounds. Met her up last week for lunch and we do some catch up with each other. Curiousity in me is that a lady asking a man when was his last break up and also don’t intended to have another relationship again. Whatever happens i would not hope for her. As i had a rival which is in the same school as me. Maybe i foreseen that see will go with the rival of mine. If this happens, i took a step back and we’re only friend. Every person on earth has the right to fall in love. Same goes to me and also other people around me. Finding the real companion that can really understand you is hard. It takes time and effort. Always bearing in mind is that let time tell who is my companion. Meeting my best friend this wed as we didn’t met for quite sometimes. To do some updates with him. So till here then.

2008-12-01T00:53:00.002+08:00

currently, life been ups n dwn a bit. basically, due to FYP stress of team mates nt cooperatin n deadline is just ard e corner. dunno what's result of this sem FYP. i do really need a pass badly 4 this fyp as it will delay my graduation if i fail. nt in a gd shape currently due to some reason. a bit dwn mentally. i just wish 2 grad quickly fr rp n leave all those bad memories behind n gd memories stayed with me. sometimes, i do reflects myself y this things happens to me. in term of r/s, career n studies. i still remember those were the days i was devastated by the incident of me breakin up with my gf. e regrets n sadness in me. devourin me up in darkness. bt like what a fren told me this is nt what we wanted bt its destiny tt we must accept. askin me 2 bring myself together n nvr look back on what happened. its a pain of goin thru this again n again. sometimes, i'm just get sick n tired of all this. all i just want is 2 hv some1 special in life who r honest, sincere n faithful. mayb allah has his reason of y i go in this track full of challenge.

at times, e obstacle tt i faced was unbearable. i did strived on 2 make sure tt i'm able to move on 2 e next lvl of life. i prayed hard everyday tt allah will destined or meet with e lady tt has honesty, sincerity n faithfulness in her. till her then

2008-10-29T12:50:00.000+08:00

Life has been up n down lately. Due to sch and other stuff. My dad still under medical attention. School is a killer especially FYP. As e deadline for fyp is near alr. E fear in me of e presentation of e FYP which will reflects the success of the fyp under my leadership. Selected to be the project manager for this project. Take it as a full challenge after absent from leading people for quite some time. Maybe every person can tell whether which person are reliable and had e leadership in them. Basically, i think that i gt e leadership in me which was developed long time ago. Maybe, since pri sch time i was given the opportunity to lead and excel to e maximum ability. Hang on and pray hard tt thing goes smoothly as it is. Degree in me in order to become an officer in CD. All this requires sacrifice in order to reach my goals and stars. Nothing comes for free. E pain is e gain in order to b successful. Maybe goes to everything that i wanted to have in life. To be successful not only in career and life but also r/s.
People do come in life n go. It’s been fated tt we meet at a point in life n we gt separated in times which written in the book of life. There’s reason y separation occurred. Mayb there’s friction which will get out of hand. I face the real world since sec 3. Been thru a lot of hell. Sometimes seeing kids which deprived the love of parent remind me of what happened few yrs back in my life. Sometimes god has his reason of making me going thru the hard rd. I do persevere and moved on with the support of my blood brothers. They hv kept me goin till 2day. E brotherhood tt we built will always remembered n remain in my heart till my last breath. I’m just s step away fr my dreams. The dreams tt i always wanted since sec days. For me, most o f my peers had gone into r/s. Some r married n some just got engage. Still finding my soul mate which i will spend e rest of my life with. I’m happy 4 my peers who had engage n some who are married. May their marriage last long till their last breath. There’s reason y west meets e east. Maybe it s called destiny. Accepting facts of life tt happened. 2 she who had found a new soul mate, i wished u a happy n successful life. Appreciate 4 what u had done 4 me bt e saddened part 4 me will b ur honesty, sincerity n loyalty. Maybe allah has his reason. Till here then.

2008-10-29T01:09:00.002+08:00

Ketika waktu mendatangkan cinta
Aku putuskan memilih dirimu
Setitik rasa itu menetes dan semakin parah

Bisa kurasa getar jantungmu
Mencintaiku apalagi aku
Jadikanlah diriku pilihan terakhir hatimu

Butterfly terbanglah tinggi
Setinggi anganku untuk meraihmu
memeluk bathinmu yang sama kacau karena merindu
oh..
Butterfly fly away so high
As high as hopes I pray
To come and reach for you
Rescuing your soul
The precious messed up thoughts of me and you

Jalan ini jauh namun kita tempuh
Bagai bumi ini
Hanya milik berdua

Biar ku berlebihan mendekatimu
Namun ku tunggu

ohhh

2008-10-07T14:38:00.001+08:00

It’s been sometimes I’m missing from blogging. Lately, not been sleeping well due to my dad situation. 4 e pas 1 mth hospitalized. Bt Alhamdulillah wills b discharging this wk. so many things in my mind currently. Graduating soon, degree in EEE, class 2 n class 3 licensed. All this used $$$$. So need to really work and able to get this task accomplished. my 1^st official race will be postponed to next season when the new season open in jan 09. Like earlier said due to my dad hospitalized. So had 2 push back every plan of mine. Basically, not been having smooth sailing. FYP, is a killer. Team mate nvr come due to certain reason. Understand that. Soon here comes again reflections 2008. Like last yr, I can’t commit again due to my dad situation. Bt lucky my peers mostly understand tt. But this yr different unable to commit unlike last yr I can’t commit due to some personal prob that cocked up. NS medical checkup letter had received and need 2 register 4 ns. Damn, went 4 e medical screening last 2 yrs n was asked 2 go again. But I’m goin 2 sign on ERS and take a degree. As my result r nt tt gd so no choice gt 2 go 4 pte degree even though its costly 4 me. And my parent r retired and my dad requires medical attention, I will be paying my degree fee with my own $$$$. Bt I believe in independency in a person. Tt’s where makes e person more mature n professional. This is where himself or herself is bein put 2 e test.

Eventually, wanted to pursue degree oversea but my mum didn’t allow me to pursue. With dad condition, I’ve cancel e plan of doing my degree oversea. N nw tryin 2 find a better job to save a bit more $$$ 4 degree. Just waitin 4 graduation 2 get a new job n also better pay. So I just pray tt all e plan goes smoothly.

2008-08-07T22:09:00.000+08:00

Since sum1 askin me 2 update, I’ll update. Here it goes, yest me n my team went 4 trg session at pasir ris track. Mum was making a a lot of noise when she find out that I’m goin 2 track 4 trg session. I was like come on I’m 21 n no more small kid n know hw 2 take care of myself. So met kye at his plc 1^st b4 proceedin 2 e track. Rch there early since mum was making noise so chow fr hm b4 she really continues with her nagging, wakaka. Meet kye n went 2 his bike 2 start n proceed 2 e track. I was wonderin along e way since it was my 1^st official track session with e team. I’ve been 2 e track b4 tt bt just on fun basis. Make our way dwn 2 pasir ris esso at elias rd. 2 draw $$$ n also buy drinks. So when we rch there, there’s this couple lookin at me n kye. Y? sometimes we r askin y they look at us. E reason is tt both of our bike is dirty since we r goin 2 e track. So I was like what e fuck bitch. I’m nt a poser who pose ard with those kangaroo 2 look cool n tryin 2 get chicks no. hell no man. Tt’s nt my way. So kye noticed it. So aft we had purchase necessary things, we start our bike n make our move 2 e track. So we went in n rch e track. So change up n warm up. So follow kye 2 where actually e route of e track so gt e flow n practice it. Aft e warm up session, did some circle drill 4 get e cornerin technics n powerslide or powerdrift 2 b perfect. So jack came n we started e normal trg session. Had a great fall n my bike had a hard time startin. So jack help n managed 2 start e bike. So we trained n had a fun race b4 callin it a day. God damn, at e line where we r havin e holeshot, my bike stalled since I let go fo e clutch early bt overall its fun. So we race n till e time 7.15. tell u what tt kye, even though he gt tummy bulging out, damn fast lah lapped me sia. Nvr mind since it’s a steppin stone 4 me.

So wrapped up n head jln masjid 4 kop session. So dwn there we do some evaluation on e trg session hw e technics supposed 2 b xecuted. So had a fun day of trg. Will b back with more update of my childhood pics.

2008-07-29T21:58:00.001+08:00

it's been a long time since i blog. currently, just gt a new baby. life was a bit up n down currently. in a middle of mid crisis. i pray hard tt all my dreams n wishes come true

2008-06-16T13:28:00.000+08:00

It’s been sometimes i’ve updated. So just finish from my championship. Alhamdulillah, this yr was a golden yr 4 me as i won e gold medal 4 ganda. On top of tt another silver fr solo bebas. Life was ok currently bt there r still some things in my mind tt i need 2 settle. Sometimes some clues or hint makes me think what r they. Been tryin 2 figure it out. Mayb there r some of it r true n some r nt true. Sometimes, i feel tt there r consequences in life. What r they depend on what u do. I faced almost everytime. E matter of fact is tt, i faced it myself. There something tt i’m nt sure of after confessing. Somethings that i feel i shldn’t hv said tt. Bt i try nt keep it in me. E reason sometimes i’m in pain is due 2 me keepin things within myself. As i gt this thingy in me tt i dun trust ppl. I’ve been played out last time by my own buddy. So it makes me feel disappointed. Nt only tt, it does nt worth anything fr e friendship. 4 me, let life b simple 4 nw. As i dun want 2 hope 4 things. E more i hope e more e feelin of disappointment in me. Aftall, i’ve achieved what r my goals n it’s time 4 me 2 sit back n njoy. Whatever it is, my time is over.

2008-05-21T13:25:00.004+08:00

Korban Cinta

Berangkat pergi biduk kukayuh
Sarat hati yang luka
Agar tak lebih menyakitkan
Jika masih di sini

Bukan cuba untuk melarikan
Dari kerumitan cinta
Tapi waktu ini perlu untukku
Mengupas segalanya

Kadangkala pedih kini mencabarku
Melupakan semua
Tapi persaan kasih padamu
Melebihi diriku
Tapi engkau bagaikan
Tidak mengerti
Halangan cinta hanya kita berdua
Terpaksa aku pergi mencari
Kesilapan sebenarnya

Mengalah bukan kalah
Pergiku bukan lari
Bukan mudah bercinta
Jika pengertian tak setaraf
Menagih korban
yang lebih dalam

2008-04-26T17:27:00.001+08:00

It’s been lately i’ve updated. Was bz with FYP n etc. LIFE?? omg, i was like bein haunted by my old childhood nitemare n memories tt i’ve been thru. Sometimes, there r confusion in me bout what i’ve been thinkin. Dunno what r they. Been tryin 2 figure it out. Mayb bcos of what i had did durin my childhood days. Simply is tt my childhood days r nt tt njoyin. I did get in2 trouble durin those days. Those days where i was foolin ard like a maniac. Bt sometimes i just wished tt i had a better life like other kids. Allah gt his reason y i faced e obstacle tt he laid out 4 me. Mayb success wait 4 me at e end of e rd ahead.like some ppl says 2 me. Go on ur own way n u will find e path of success. Sometimes, i’ve been tryin my very best to find alternative route2 achieve what i want in life.

Some ppl says life is beautiful, bt 4 me life is full of shit sometimes. When u faced e obstacles. E pain tt i’m goin thru nw sometimes makes me feel demoralised what happened last time. 1 of e mistakes is tt i gt in2 r/s. It was my fault 4 gettin in2 r/s when i know tt my priority was 2 study get my diploma. This had been hauntin me in my mind most of e time. Sometimes, i just dun understand y this all must happened 2 me. I just started 2 see e light in my life again bt it turns dark back again. Nt once bt twice happened 2 me. Most of my r/s ends with a 3^rd party involved. I wonder y this kind of ppl would do such things when they know tt it is wrong. Is this a retribution 4 what i’ve done last time. Mayb it is in some ways. Bt i accept it. even though e pain tt i go thru is like a knife goin thru my heart. E other party r njoyin what happened 2 me. Bt i’m tryin 2 b patience bout it. a fren told tt e relax u r in a complicated, e more e person will b unstable. I’ve been wonderin y tt person gt e cheek 2 ask me whether i could wait 4 6 yrs if she wants 2 b a doctor. Hw m is supposed 2 wait if tt person is nt honest, sincere n faithful 2 me. Y, can’t tt person just b frank n nt deny things. I can’t accept it when i saw it in front of my eye n tt person still can deny it. Makin stories bout me tt r nt true. Come n faced me like a man if u dare. Dun just go ard make stories bout ppl tt r nt true. Is this hw u potray urself as some more in certain areas. Critics ppl n makin story bout them. Always bear in mind tt humans makes mistake. It just a matters whether i want 2 play tt person out anytime if i wanted to. There’s no point of tt person cried in front of me. E tears tt i wiped off, tt wet on my shirt & dropped on my hand is just a crocodile tears. Both of them didn’t keep 2 their words. As human beins, i gave chance 2 ppl 2 prove who they r in life, bt they abuse it even though some of e ppl surroundin them didn’t gave it. it’s just a matter of time b4 u pay e price 4 what u’ve done 2 ppl ard them. Bt patience is e key 2 everythin. Lucky 4 me it alls end quickly b4 i suffer more in e future.

Lately, my temper has came back since e last time round. I’m scared tt it will affect e ppl surroundin me. I’ve been figurin out hw come it came back. I’ve been lettin go of e anger in me. Bt sometimes things r nt what they r. Been tryin 2 ctrl my temper so tt i will nt turn 2 e dark side. Like what in a movie says bout e path 2 e dark side: anger leads 2 hate, hate leads 2 sufferin. so allah show me e path 2 e light side of life. so tt i could lead life as happy as possible.

2008-03-28T20:31:00.000+08:00

Ok, it’s been sometimes i’ve update. In malay sayin, “diam tk diam, masa berlalu”. Meaning as we keep quiet time flies pass us. E last time i was in yr 1 n nw final yr of poly. Time did fly very fast4 me. Upon graduating next yr, i had 2 serve my NS. Part of e requirement. So, there r plenty of plans in my mind nw. Bt e time n situation didn’t permit me 2 execute it. Dunno y, mayb god don’t allow me to execute 4 some reason. In roughly 1.5 wks, e sch reopen. N this time i need pump up n give my best shot 4 e final yr. So far, i managed 2 overcome e prob tt i faced even though there r some morons who did try 2 punk me again 4 some reason. I wonder what r their motive in doin all this shit. So i just dun waste my time on this kind of ppl who they think they r big shot in life. So currently. My life is simple 4 e time bein. Even though i fall 4 sum1. Bt 2 think tt i still gt 1 more task 2 do which is e final yr of my studies. So doin it well is priority 4 nw. Just updated my blog skin. Thanks 2 azrina who helped me out in this thing. Ur effort n help is very much appreciated.

KL trip

2008-02-22T16:02:00.001+08:00

It’s been a long time i’ve update my blog. So back fr KL previously. Been back fr there 4 days ago, bt bit too bz n too tired shagged 2 update. Ok, this is what happened. We were told by our president silat, Lufias tt e UM comp was postponed to this wk. The decision was a last min as every1 has alr paid 4 e travel insurance n etc. We received e news 1 day b4 our departure day. I was like what e fuck!!!. Shld nt go in e 1^st plc if this were 2 happened. Every1 is like damn fed up with the UM ppl. As they postponed the comp at e very last min. So we had a hard time makin decision whether 2 go or nt. Since every1 has paid 4 e travel insurance, we decided 2 go. So we departure on e date tt was fixed in e 1^st plc. It’s been a long n tiring journey. As it was a 5.5 hrs of travelling in e bus. Damn, nw i know tt travelling in ur own car r way2 faster than takin a coach dwn 2 KL. So our very 1^st pit stop is Machap. Where everybody alight n get some refreshment n also ate their breakfast as some had nt ad theirs. Especially Cik Mail n Cik Salmah. So most of them bought e Malaysia prepaid card as they dun want their bills 2 boom up. Just imagine, out of sudden when u see ur hp bills goes up like nobody business. So continue with e journey 2 KL. So we rch Puduraya. Tt’s where 1 of e student fr Singapore fetch us in a double decker bus of UM. Guess who izz?? It’s Syifa fr cekak serantau. We were like shocked 2 see her fetch us at puduraya. So we board e bus n head 4 UM. We had 2 change bus as e double decker bus could nt go thru 2 e accomadation plc as e ceiling is very low. So we rch our plc of accomadation. Aft checkin in, we went 2 had our dinner. Be sure tt e plc where we stay 4 e 1^st day is a hotel which is beside e UM medical centre. At nite, we had supper. Durin e walk 2 e foodstall, we pass by this plc. It’s quite dark n surrounded with bamboo tree. 2 my surprised, it’s a mortuary which 1 of e UM student told me. At 1^st, i was am i hearin e wrong thing or words. I was imaginie hw e student of faculty of science n medicine survived there with the mortuary right behind their hostel.

Aft e supper, we had ice breakin program getting 2 know e UM pesilat. Then we off 2 beds as every1 is damn shagged aft 1 whole day of travelling.

E 2^nd day, we had a tourin e whole UM aft breakfast. So we went 2 see e chancellor council. Tt’s where we can get 2 see who r e management of e university at e current time. At e same time, i bought some souvenirs 4 my frens. Evenin, we had a join trg with e UM ppl. It’s was much a pleasure 2 had them joinin us in e trg. So aft e trg, we went back 2 our hostel n get some rest.

3^rd day, we went 2 masjid jamae. Tt’s where i shopped a bit. I bought a puma watch, a porch n also a sunglass. It seems tt every1 is turnin blind. I mean every1 wears shades n sunglass when we gather aft e fri prayers. So aft gatherin , we head back 2 bus n getting ready 2 go 2 KLCC. Goshed!!! Tell u takin photo between e twin towers was damn nice lah. So e whole team take e photo between e twin towers. So aft e photo takin session, we went back 2 hostel get some rest n at nite we r visitin e Putrajaya. Just imagine, u see e putrajaya in e movie n nw u r able 2 see it live with ur very own eye. So aft visitin putrajaya, we went dwn 2 KL downtown. Where we had our dinner n shopped abit. Tt’s where i n a few of them bought Levis jeans n some polo t-shirt. Guess what aft we return 2 hostel, amin Bermuda was damn short n also damn tight. My goodness, he looks like a matrep. Most of us hv been laughin like nobody business including e instructors.

4^th day, we went 2 Ulu yam. We had swimming session at e river. Where in Singapore u can find river anymore xcept Singapore river. Bt this 1 we r able 2 swim. E water is clear n most of us took photos. Guess what?? E ladies r commentin tt e water is cold when they enter e river. So e instructors n i splashed water at them most them r yellin cold2!!!. It was like very funny of them when u see them yellin tt. Bt i was surprised at my partner lufias. When i splashed e water at him, he was squirming like a worm bcos of e water temperature. So wrapped up n head 4 petaling st. E moment of heaven comes. I had a very gd time shoppin at petaling st. E plc where u can get branded stuff n r able 2 bargain like nobody business. I n a fren of my wnet in2 this shopped as he’s interested in this Gucci bag. E openin price is 150 bucks. What happened is tt we managed 2 bargain till 45 bucks 4 e bag. We r laughin all e way aft purchasin it. Hahaha... too bad 4 e seller we r nt those ang moh’s tt they can chopped 4 e price. Just imagine it’s a daylight robbery 4 e ang moh’s who shopped there. So i shopped a lot there especially shoes. I bought 3 shoes at petaling. Every1 was shocked 2 see me. Since e comp is postponed only frenly which is sparrin n i’m nt playin. Might as well i just shopped like a mad man. Among all e pesilat, i think tt i shopped e most.

5^th day, e frenly start with 4 sch. RP,USIM,UKM n UM. So everythin went well. Aft e frenly, we went 2 1 of e trg grds of gayong. Where we get 2 know more of e culture n also e history of e silat. Aft e visit of e trg grd, we went back 2 hostel n rest. As evening we had a farewell party b4 we head back 4 Singapore. So as usual we had performance fr both sch. N e very same nite i get sabo by e team. I was like muahahaha. As i know tt it’s once in a while so no offence. Bt overall was fun.

6^th day, check out n head out of UM.

Be back with more photo of UM.

Ego

2008-01-16T14:47:00.000+08:00

It has been a while since I updated my blog. Sch goin 2 end in 2 wks time. There are a lot of things in my mind currently. Sometimes I just can’t understand y I’m always faced a lot of obstacles in life. Even though e prob r surroundin me, I will try my very best 2 solve it in e effective way. Even though some of e prob still unable 2 solve. 1 of e prob tt I faced was helpin a fren of mine. Lately, I had some quarrel n misunderstandin with ppl ard me. I’m just tryin 2 help a fren who r in need of helps bt other took it wrong. I dun understand y human being like 2 jump 2 conclusions in life. Helpin a fren in need meanin tt u r helpin tt person with sincerity n honesty. Some ppl gt it wrong bout me. ppl thought I’m 1 sided. Bt I was on neutral ground bout this prob. Some ppl r just born b matured n some r just plain childish. Bt I can’t blame this ppl as this is e creation of Allah. bt what we can do it tt 2 change 4 e better in life. Some ppl say life is beautiful bt 2 me life is full of struggles n obstacles. As I had went thru a lot of hardship in life. Based on my xperience. Bt ppl ard me help me 2 think positive in life. Like in my earlier entry achieving somethin in life is nt easy as I think, even if I succeed it’s a hard life. Sometimes, I dun understand tt just bcoz of 1 small things conflict happened. Regardless in term of what. Its sad 2 see if u’ve been frens 4 quite a long time n end up becoming enemy. To me, this kind of ppl r nt up 2 e lvl yet. I wonder whether this kind of ppl can accept e fact of life. Things tt came n left our life. Things tt came in2 our things has its reason. Same goes 2 e things tt left us. At 1^st, I was unable 2 accept tt my X left me 3 yrs back. Bt upon enterin Honeywell as trainee, I was bein taught on hw 2 think n xecute thing well. I was bein shot right at e face by my senior tech when I can’t accept e fact tt my X gf left me. sometimes we r just nt fated hv something in life. Like a phrase nt all e things tt u want in this world u can get.

I had asked helped fr a fren of mine tt time. Issue discussed is bout my old prob. She give 2 option 2 choose. Use e brain or follow what ur heart say. So I elaborate 2 her 4 both option. If I used my brain, It will make me become wiser n mature in thinkin. Bt if I were 2 follow what my heart says, it will lead 2 e devastation of my life. Its e same of what I’ve been thru e corp last time. e corp trained n groom me 2 be responsible n man with integrity in life. Some ppl says I’m childish n egocentric. Did they mirror themslef b4 they say tt 2 me. Even though we r e same age bt what I can tell is tt where were u when u r 15 yrs old, what portfolio u hv if u want 2 say tt, what were u doin at 130am. Some of this bugger r studyin n njoyin life with their parent $$$. Bt I was out on e street n street fightin 4 my life just 2 survive in this world while other teenager of my age drawin pocket $$$ fr their parent. I went thru hell 1^st then others. Bt y ppl would like 2 really pull status n ego on me. I’ve worked with professional’s n big shots b4. N I was bein recognized in MNC n considered as young talent there. I went thru hell session when I was in e corp at 130am where ppl r still sleppin. Bt what u hv 2 say tt 2 me. boast bout e job tt pays u a bit more. I can always say tt 2 ppl bt this means I’m pullin status on ppl. I was nurture in a way tt I would nt offence ppl ard me. Even though, I was a street child last time. Bein a street child makes a big different with normal child. Ppl would say tt this kind of ppl who nt make it in life. Bt I prove ppl ard me wrong. I worked my way up 2 where I’m 2day. I feel e satisfaction in me achievin it. There’s no easy rd 2 ur target or dreams. Some ppl r nt worth my attention. I mean those idiots or buggers out there. Sorry 2 say tt “U R JUST NT FIT OR RCH MY LVL 2 SAY I’M CHILDISH, EGO CENTRIC N ETC”. I alr feed my mum with my own $$$ when u still drawin pocket $$$ fr ur parent.

E time has come

2008-01-06T20:44:00.000+08:00

Well, 2day was suppose 2 go 4 kangaroo trg. Bt end up cancelled due 2 Kye was dwn with fever. So plan cancelled n carry on with my slp. As I had work e whole day. Just imagine fr sat morning till 2am at nite. Bt overall was fun. As most of colleague challenge me 4 e no of order send by individuals. So try n make a guess? Who emerged as e champion? Suprisinly, I emerged as e champion as I send e most order. Just imagine fr mornin till 5pm then I managed 2 consume my food. I bought my food fr outside as I’m sick n tired of mc food. As I comment 2 my RM. EVERYDAY EAT BURGER, FACE ALSO LOOK LIKE BURGER. Tt was what I feel when everyday consumin e same food at mc. So I had chicken salad rice. It was nice as there r chicken, red bean n also mayonnaise. I guess among all this while, I think this is e gd food so far as it makes u feel full n also feel satisfied. So I woke up at 12.30 2day. As I was totally shaggedout fr yesterday workin fr mornin till nite. When I think back, I 4got 2 eat my amino acid 4 full recovery of my body condition. So woke up n washed up. Then informed my mum tt I’m goin out 2 buy food 4 myself. as my mum didn’t prepared breakfast 4 me. so make my way 2 Alif restaurant. Thought of eatin with my rider fren bt didn’t managed 2 as e system 4 MDS was dwn at e other hub at bt batok. So all e order in bt batok area was divert 2 my hub. So e whole system was full with orders n e riders went in n out of e mc. In e end, I ate alone. So I say 2 my fren nvr mind bro understand tt u bz. So had mee rebus n relax with some of e riders there. It’s gd things tt I try 2 socialized more with ppl ard me. knowin more pl makes u more wiser n matured in thinkin. Like what I asked a fren of mine bout my prob. She asked me 2 options. Follow ur heart or use ur brains. So I listed e consequences of this 2. If I were 2 follow what my heart says, it will lead 2 devastation of my life. Bt if I were 2 used my brains n think, it will make me matured in thinkin n wiser in facin prob. Bt 2 me, still need 2 get over it. It will take sometimes 4 me. Like what happened 2 me few yrs back. I think tt I shldn’t b angry or cursin y I was given e path of sufferin in life. Mayb allah wants me 2 feel e sufferin path 1^st then e easy path. Same goes in everythin in life. Like what ppl ard told me when u move on in life, u will see e differences of what u’ve been thru. U will reflects back on hw u managed 2 become some1 successful 2day. Like my senior tech said 2 me nvr hv e jealousy in me when seein other ppl who r in r/s. there will b some1 4 u just b patience. Like what my mum told me, u hv 2 b very patience in facin e obstacles in life. Whether in workin, studies or even r/s. I guess tt ppl ard me help me 2 shape myself in2 a better man.

Time flies fast enough 4 me. n e time has come 4 me 2 faced e odds n truth of my life. It may b unbearable 4 me bt what I can do is leave my fate 2 allah. bt I’m lucky 2 hv ppl who I considered as blood bro’s thru out my journey in findin n changing myself in2 better man. N this is e ppl who push me ard all this while n keep me movin.

Outin

2008-01-04T00:16:00.000+08:00

This morning woke up at 9.30. See e watch n I say 2 myself tt I’m runnin late 2 meet my fren at east side. E reason is tt promised him 2 accompany him 2 Ah Boy shop. If u r askin what e shop sell is plainly bike accessory n parts. He’s been very eager 2 buy motor cover. As e reason is tt he’s servin NS in few days time n also his bike seat get wet when it comes 2 rains. So gt up fr my sleep n quickly washed up n get ready 2 meet him. So start e bike n go off 2 meet him. So managed 2 rch his plc on time. e suprisin things is when I rch there n called him n his reply was I didn’t get his msg. I told him tt I nvr get anything. So he came down quickly n meet me. so we talk 4 a while then move out 2 where our destination. So we went 2 ah boy by PIE since my poor fren didn’t know hw 2 travel thru s’pore tt much. So travel thru PIE n then access thru bendemeer rd. when I passed thru tt rd it reminds me of 4 yrs back. Where I was still at ITE. Tt is e rd where I used 2 travel n passed durin those days very morning 2 sch. Sometimes seein things bout e past will reminds u where u started n hw u managed 2 b what u r 2day. I still cherished those days n life was back then quite easy then. So bypass e rd n head 4 ah boy shop. Along e way my fren really give his full blast of throttle of his bike n I open my throttle n tailgate him. So I told him tt if ppl r sayin bout aunty shop is this 1. Suprisinly he know tt. Bt hw come aunty shop he know bt nt ah boy shop. Weird I guess. Ok, rch ah boy shop n we went in2 wrong junction. We r goin against e traffic flow. Lucky 4 us we there’s no TP. If there is, we goin 2 get our iicence both revoke 4 just 1 stupid thing. So my fren buy his bike cover n I survey e helmet there n suit since I wanted 2 play motorX. So aft tt, we went 2 another shop n asked e gear price. So I roughly know what r e prices of e gear tt I need 4 motorX. Then fr e shop, I split fr my fren n went 2 seoul garden 2 eat. Since there a student meal price, I took e advantage of eatin. E last time I ate seoul garden was 2 yrs back. Just imagined tt u pa 20 bucks bt eat very little in e end. E reason is tt it’s fastin mth. U know lah ppl who r fastin dun eat tt much. So 2day became a mass monster n esat all I can. So aft eatin, I went 2 do window shoppin as I think tt I need a new wardrobe. My jeans r tearin apart n so is my shirt. Plannin of getting a new clothin next pay day. So at e same time find a picture frame. Thought of givin it as present 4 my fren 4 his bdae. Bt too bad didn’t hv e type tt 1 wanted. Mayb can find another plc or even hv 2 customised it. so this is just plannin only dun know what r e actuall product or present tt I wished 2 give my fren.

So aft tt went 2 Hajah Fatimah mosque 2 pray. Aft prayin went 2 beach rd n survey e clothin there. There this shoes which caught my attention. So asked e price n quite reasonable I guess. So aft surveyin e cloth then I’m off 2 hm. So rch hm n kiss my mum. Then e 1^st things she asked is where I go. I told her tt I went 2 bike shop 2 accompany my fren buy some stuff there. So rest n when Kye msg me tt there’s a team meet up session. E location is Simpang bedok. I was cursin as if I know I shld just hang out at east side or went 2 my bro plc or my cousins plc n chill out there. So meet e team n discuss what r e latest things. Every1 is changing bike 2 DRZ. Last time e bike which I wanted 2 buy was coloured by e team. Nw every1 is changin 2 it. so we talk bout our childhood time. what we gt 4 present 4 bdae n pass exams. N I asked Jack whether his parent had set his career path or nt. he said no bt I told them my mum did bt my dad dun. Bt whatever it is, I’m still with my decision of my career choice. So split fr there at 10 xactly n head 4 hm.

2008

2007-12-31T22:08:00.000+08:00

E year of 2007 comes 2 end by midnite in few hrs time. e markin of e beginning of 2008. Time really flies fast enough 4 everybody. This significant year of 2008 markin e new age era 4 me turnin myself in2 21 yrs old. Where e critical yr 4 me as this yr is e final yr of my education in polytechnics. Nt only this givin me a new resolution n also tryin 2 shape myself 4 e better in life. As I watched e day bypass 1 aft another lookin at it. What is e true meanin of life. In e search of e life since 2002. E day where I walk alone in e dark w/o e support of anybody. Findin e truth behind all tt happened in my life till nw. along e way, met my band bunch durin e conquest of findin e true meanin of life n also who I’m really is. E reason of e conquest is due injustice, favourism n also e selfishness of e ppl ard me tt make totally mad at tt point of time. I was glad tt I change a lot in life. Shaping myself 2 b better person in life. This will nt happened w/o e ppl who I regard them as blood bro’s. even old ppl thinks tt frens will nt helped u a lot in life. Bt 2 me, this ppl who I’ve known 4 more than 5 yrs had helped me a lot in life. Sometimes, I dun know hw 2 repay them back 4 what they hv done 4 me. helpin me 2 carry on n pick up back e shatter pieces of my life due 2 e conflicts tt happened in my life. Human makes mistakes in life. Even 4 me, I makes mistake too. Bt with e mistake tt I make, I will try my very best 2 change 4 e better. Sometimes as I walk 2 thru my life whether in workin life or even normal life, I saw all kind of ppl with different personality, attitude n thinkin. Some were once a criminal in life. Some r professionals n even some who dun hv any direction in life. Bt this makes me think tt nobody in life is perfect. If life were 2 b perfect, there will nt b conflicts ard e world. Those frens who r once a criminal. Really shed their tears in front of me. e reason is regrettin on what they hv done in life. 2 me this kind of ppl is goin back 2 e track in life. I feel tt ppl like this shld b given a strong support in reshaping their life. I see 4 myself what r life really means. Havin professionals frens is gd. Knowin bout e industry out there. Where u can get advised on what r e current market r like out there. Bt some of them r just plainly idiots. E reason is tt they tend 2 backstabbed their own team mates just 4 e recognition of management. Sometimes, I feel tt this kind of ppl r just childish.

Bt every person tt I met in life give me a new inspiration in changing myself better. Even changing myself in2 better person is nt easy as I think, even if i succeed it’s a hard life. Same goes in my career wise. I regard myself as anak dagang. Y reason is tt I travelled ard nt only in life bt also other country. Travellin ppl country seein ard what r e situation dwn there. Bt still travellin ard on my own nt only on my home land bt also other ppl country. So I take this chance upon enterin 2008 2 change myself in2 better person.

Visit

2007-12-24T16:30:00.000+08:00

Went back to Honeywell last fri. It looks like things change a lot fr e last time when I was there. I left e plc almost 2 2 yrs due 2 further education. Simply I just missed e time there. E 1^st person who I met when I rch there is my Senior QA engineer who is promoted 2 manager nw. He thought I came back there 2 cover up e vacancy there. He badly wanted me 2 help support his department at SCAS. It seems tt when I came back there every1 tryin 2 get me in their department. Looks like e value of me in Honeywell r high in term of prospect I guess. Nt proclaimin myself gd or something bt when comes 2 work I think tt I put my professionalism on e line. Prob a side. I wonder y most of e personnel dwn there a tryin 2 get me in2 their respective department. If can I would like 2 work there back as most of them know me since I’m ard fr attachment time till nw. so talk 2 my manager at e main building then when off 2 meet my engine team. 4 e engine team, I just want 2 meet my senior tech n supervisor. So just wanted 2 called him bt he’s alr outside 4 his tea break. So talk 2 him till his break ended. Even though I rch there at 9 am bt I enter my ISC team rm at 10. There’s a lot of things tt I tlak out with my senior tech. in term of studies n also my future career. Told him what I wanted 2 do. So he gives me his advise n opinion on what I shld do. It looks like there r ppl ard supportin me in term of studies, career n life. Then he raised e issue bout R/S. so told him tt my R/S just ended. He told me tt this is just 1 of e obstacle tt testin me whether I’m stayin focus with my studies n goals. Advising me tt dun rush in2 R/S. there will b 1 person tt will b fated 2 spend time with me 4 e rest of my life till my last breath.

So went 2 meet my ISC team. So enter e rm n every1 is happy 2 see me come. As I make it as a habit 2 come n visit when sch holiday started. So talk 2 my supervisor n tell u what I gt a present fr them. I had 2 help them do cycle count 4 them. Meanin do stock check 4 them all e parts tt r in e store. So usin e AS400 system, I check in e system 4 e quantity n record dwn 2 check 4 physical. So started off e cycle count. So managed 2 finish everythin b4 4. Lunch is provided by my team as I help them do 2 cycle count. Even though I came there 2 hang ard bt last must help them. I dun mind helpin them as they r dwn with manpower currently. Om Mazlan went 4 his ibadah haji n e team r dwn with 1 man n 2day e temp guy is away 4 his holiday. So total with 2 man dwn it will really drive e team 2 e wall max impact. Sad 2 see tt I didn’t managed 2 see Om Mazlan fly off 4 his ibadah haji. Gt e wrong date thought on 15 dec bt e wk b4 tt e day I worked n find out tt when I finished my shift, he flew off alr bout 4 hrs ago. So told my supervisor bout my special fren. So she was shocked when I told her bout special fren. Her comment was nw gt special fren alr. Bt was given warnin aft told her bout e special fren. It’s bout my studies. She told me 2 studies hard if she find out tt I’m nt doin tt she goin 2 b my foster mum n drive me up e wall. So told her bout my degree plan. So asked her whether e company gt sponsorship 4 degree. If they willin 2 sponsor me 4 degree, then I would came back. Bt this time round, with better pay than what I gt last time. maybe I’m askin 4 3.5k. if they r willin 2 pay me. if nt then can 4get bout it. mayb will go 2 R&R(Rolls Royce). Where 1 of e big engine company r nw doin well currently. So hang ard there till 6+ when I wanted 2 go off n suddenly rained. Damn, it rains again so had 2 wait at least 4 2 hrs b4 I can proceed 2 meet e misfitz at KTM. Lately, every1 is suspicious bout my movement. It seems tt I went 2 eat n also plces where r supposed 2 b with frens bt I went alone. It’s just me. only ppl who r really close 2 me knows hw I do things. So ppl out there, I think tt u all had nt try hard enough.

Against all odds

2007-12-17T16:55:00.000+08:00

It’s been quite sometimes since i update my blog. Lately, been bz with a lot of things. 1^st thing e odyssey is over n everythin is back 2 normal daily stuff tt I shld do. 2^nd is tt currently I’m on sch holiday. So there r a lot of things I need 2 do also. Need 2 plan out my sche when sch reopen. 1^st things tt I need 2 do is tt bout my fitness trg. Since e odyssey is over nw, e mon n wed slot of putting in e gym n fitness trg. Currently planning out what 2 do 4 e gym n also e fitness trg. 4 e gym trg, I shld roughly know what 2 train n also what 2 achieve at certain lvl. 4 e fitness I need 2 push it up again as my fitness lvl dropped tremendously since I left e corp 2 yrs back. So since Farhan, yr 1 guy is stayin nearby me told him bout e trg plan tt I had so he agreed n tell him when I want 2 start it. so e plan is still bein planned out currently, so I dun bother tt much nw. so next is bout my workin sche. I had 2 work almost everyday. Had 2 need 2 save up $$ 4 a lot of things. My bike insurance, rd tax, degree n also motorX. Been dying 2 try motorX since most of e misfitz had been ridin lately. In order 4 me 2 achieve all this is tt I need 2 go against all odds tt come in my way. Sometimes in life, I need 2 sacrifices 4 certain things in life. Mayb nw I need 2 sacrifices a lot of things bt in e future mayb nt.

Yest, went 4 a weddin ceremony of my cousins my father side at Tampines. Since my parent was unable 2 come as they went oversea. So I represent them n went 4 e ceremony. Bt actually I know e reason y my parent nvr go. It’s simply bcoz my dad side treat my mum very badly. Tt’s y my mum dun really mixed with my dad side. So since nobody in my family is goin, so I represent them n go 4 e ceremony. Went back immediately aft tt. By e time I rch hm is alr bout 6. So went rch hm, my sis cook fried kway teow. My sis knows 1 of my fav food. Even though I had gone 4 e weddin, I didn’t eat tt much as tummy doesn’t feel tt gd aftall. So e moment I rch hm, get some rest n eat what my sis had cooked. Bcoz ltr in e evening goin 2 watch soccer with e misiftz. Liverpool vs Man Utd. So met e guys at coffee shop near Jack house. So had a drinks n also eat fish n chip b4 e match start. So e match kick off at 9.55pm. it’s been a thrillin match 4 e fans. As Liverpool had a made a lot of attempt 2 score startin bt sad they lost 2 man u 1-0. So e game ended at bout 11pm. So e msifitz n I split off fr there as every1 had 2 work e next day.

Nt goin out 2day as I need 2 work. So mayb tmrw as I need 2 meet my team at Honeywell in e morning then rush dwn 4 trg n lastly 2 Aljunied. As I need 2 buy an MP4 as I feel bored when I took e train dwn 2 sch every mornin. So since there r a lot of discount 4 e MP4 due 2 e Christmas sales, so I took e chance 2 bought it as it e price is way2 cheaper than they usually sell it. so goin 2 make my way dwn 2 buy it tmrw. Since my previous phone tt consists of MP3 player spoilt so it’s been broin travellin ard with music in my ears. So lately been thinkin bout my future plans. E more I think the more complicated things get. It’ seems tt I lost a lot of weight tremendously lately. I lost bout 4 kg. Ever since I was dwn with stress with my prob. Bt this is e fact n also e way of life. I had 2 accept it. So whatever happens, I will still go against all odds tt comes in my way 2 achieve what I want in life. I’ve just asked bout e degree program tt I want 2 take aft graduatin fr RP. so they told me 2 come dwn 2 e office n bring dwn all e necessary document. So I told them tt I will come next wk depends on whether I’m free or nt. so told my bro bout my degree plan. So he can just guarantor me bt I will settle all e necessary fee. So he agreed. Since I’m e last in e family blood line. I think tt I’ve been street fightin 4 my life since young till currently. I still hold 2 e words of a friends in Honeywell. In order 4 me 2 b successful, I must go on my own. Meaning bein independent w/o any support fr my parent. I had done tt 4 a very long time. I feel satisfied with what I’ve earned fr my tears n sweat all this while. bein independent is e same of building ur own empire at ur own risk in life. So I think tt I’ve taken a lot of risk in my life in order 2 b some1 n also 2 prove 2 ppl out there tt I can make it in life. So I think tt I’ve go against all odds in life.

Bags

2007-12-11T12:21:00.000+08:00

Well, yest when 2 Tampines again 2 meet my insurance consultant. So everythin went well as planned. E weather there was like playin switchin on n off. So I took bus 969 fr wdld int as I know tt tt bus end at e int itself. As 168 I need 2 walk cross e over head bridge. So rch there on time. 1^st b4 I meet my consultant, I do my RJ 1^st at MC. So aft tt I head n see my consultant. E reason 4 e meet up is bout e update in my policy n also whether I want 2 upgrade my policy or nt. So e conversation went well. We had a long talk on career n goals wise with my consultant. So told him bout my plan 4 future. Wish 2 pursue a degree in aft graduatin fr RP. So he xplained 2 me bout e plan tt AIA had 4 education section. There’s good bout it. Bt e bad things bout it is tt, I must hv certain amount in my bank acc. So I think back again mayb nt nw bt aft I sign on in 2 yrs time. There r a lot of plans in my mind, bt time n finance doesn’t permit me at e moment. So aft tt meet up my frens 2 sent his throttle cable at e same time since I’m at Tampines. So had dinner with him at a coffee shop somewhere Temsaek poly area. So ate pattaya rice. Tell u what?? E rice is damn sucks totally. E egg is just plc on top of e rice. Nt like other plces where I eat e rice. I didn’t finished my rice so my fren finished it up 4 me even though I haven fr mornin. So aft we had dinner, went 2 Tampines mall 2 check out on bags. Basically, my bag alr torn n I need 2 change a new one. So fr lvl 1 all e way 2 e last lvl of e mall me n my fren went 2 browse 4 e bag. So went in2 Zinc shop. E bag there was awesome. Upon enterin e shop, 2 bags tt caught my eyes. So told e retail asst 2 bring dwn e 2 bags n I check it out. Quite gd e quality. So went on 2 e next shop which is e sport connection, outdoor equipment shop. So went 2 browse e shop 4 bags. So e browsin went on till this bag caught my eye. So asked e price hw much izz n it’s 37 bucks. So I told e lady I came back another day. As I dun want 2 rush 2 buy e bag. Thought of goin 2 PS next tue which is 18 dec 2 check out e bags there bt cancel due 2 unforeseen circumstances. So do a window shoppin at Tampines mall yest. So went back hm aft tt bout 7.30 fr there.

So next plan is on 21 dec which is my fren b’dae. So I told him we will go out n celebrate his b’dae as tt time when he discharge fr e hosp, we didn’t managed 2 watch movie as most of us had 2 attend last min family event. So e event postpone. I’m lookin forward 2 e 21 dec outin as I had nt been 2 town 4 quite sometimes since startin workin as rider. E last time I go 2 town is 2 yrs back when I’m still workin as dishwasher at Suntec. E plc where I start 2 walk with my own 2 leg. When I bypass there, it reminds me 2 yrs back where I started. So reflectin back on hw I managed 2 b somebody 2day. Fr just earnin fr few hundreds $$$ 2 3k/mth. Even though I had earn a big amount of salary at e age of 18, I still remember where I started. Remembering our root where we came fr will make us more humble in life. In malay phrase sayin “IBARAT PADI, SEMAKIN BERISI, SEMAKIN TUNDUK”. Meanin e more higher u soar in life, e more humble u shld b. nt only Suntec bt also Honeywell. I still went back there 2 visit my team. Obviously, went back there visit e team is nt only 1 team bt 2 team. As I’ve been trained under MRO team which is e engine team n also attached under e ISC team. Bt thanks 2 them 4 who I m 2day. I just take things easy currently even something happens 2 me recently.

Pressure

2007-12-08T15:55:00.001+08:00

Lately, I’ve been under a lot of pressure. It looks like things are repeatin by itself conversion in malay phrase “PISANG DA BEBUAH 2 KALI”. Thinking bout my personal problems n other stuff. Things r cockin up again in my life like hw it happened 2 yrs back. I’ve been thinkin y it revolved back in virtual cycle. Pressure bout my studies e main concern. As I’m movin 2 yr 3 next it will b e critical yr 4 as I need 2 fulfill 2 FYP which is a killin 1. I see my frens who repeat just bcoz of FYP cocked up. So I’m tryin nt 2 b like tt as time will b wasted as 1 sem need 2 repeat. It means repeatin 1 sem is payin xtra $$. Just 1 things tt I had bout FYP. Which is programming. DAMN!!!! It will b a killin things 4 me as my programmin is nt gd.

E other prob is bout R/S. I was thinkin n everytime I think bout it, e feelin in me makes my thinkin n feelin mixed up between my life, career n goals. As previous prob makes me like there’s no meanin in my life anymore. As I reflects tt I’m growin as time bypass. With current age of 20, I alr need 2 think bout 4 my future. Meanin e future of my life depends on myself. With current situation, I managed 2 solve 1 of my prob previously with my dad. Which took me 4 yrs 2 settle it. as e reason is tt I was totally mad at tt moment with my dad n need sometimes 2 cool down. So managed 2 talk things out with my dad n also e family members. So Alhamdulillah everythin went well.

Nw is bout R/S. it seems tt everytime, I was tryin 2 build back somethin 2 what it is bt somethin else happened. Even I’ve let go of e person, I would still give them a chance 2 turn back. Bt e only things tt I dun understand bout myself is tt when I wanted 2 turn back 2 e things tt I left behind in tryin 2 improved it, is tt I dun get e chance. Sometimes I’m askin myself till 2day y I dun get e chances. Sometimes when I think bout it e 1^st thing tt came in2 my mind is tt will there b another chance 4 me??? I had faced e obstacle thru e 4 yrs of hell journey where there was no chance 4 me 2 turn back in tryin 2 shape myself n also faced e true world on e street. Ppl ard me r helpin me 2 shape myself in2 better person as day bypass. Bt some r just lettin me down. Bt I took it as a challenge. E pain tt I went thru all this while is unbearable. I had 2 faced e truth of life which means separation. In life, I had 2 accept e fact of separation. Bt I’m tryin 2 accept it bt each time I’m tryin my feelin n thinkin shattered. Can’t 4get bout what happened 2 me. it’s like a nitemare tt had been haunting me all this while. I took a learnin lesson fr my dad xperience. Which my mum told me when my dad was nt ard. E day of e solemnization of my dad n my mum, my dad X fiancée came n told my dad tt she wants 2 b with my dad again. I scared tt my fate will b e same like my dad. Since last time, I’ve been reflectin back on myself hw come I was able 2 excel in other things in life bt nt in R/S. e ans was nt found yet. Till 2day I was still searchin 4 e ans 2 my question.

Song

2007-12-07T14:43:00.000+08:00

This song is dedicated 2 e person who r special in my life.

Tiba-tiba engkau ada
Kemudian engkau hadir
Laksana kerdil ku memeluk
Lihat aku lebih dalam

Di matamu ku melihat
Ada cinta yg tersirat
Sirami hati merebak

Barangkali aku salah
Ku terdiam bukan bisu
Tahu engkau besar malu
Tutupi rasa gelisah

Biar saja waktu nanti
Yang menikmati kisah ini
Bersamamu aku senang

Belum juga kah kau menyadarinya
Akulah yg pantas untuk kau cintai
Di bawah langit biru aku bersumpah
Diriku tanpamu apa artinya cinta

Arti cinta ini sudah menelan waktuku
Siang malam hanya untuk pikirkan engkau
Sejuta kali aku berani bersumpah
Diriku tanpamu apa artinya cinta

Mistakes

2007-12-07T08:44:00.000+08:00

Yest, went 4 trg as usual. Left immediately aft tt n meet up with e misfitz. So went 2 Jln Asas as it is central 4 everybody. Bt I split aft tt 4 e moment went 2 Jhr 2 pump my petrol n change Khai throttle cable. So managed 2 get it change bt nt e standard throttle, it is e fast throttle 4 TZM. So I told my mechanic can also because he says tt nowadays seldom ppl usin standard throttle as e demand 4 fast throttle r high. At e same time, buy e spark plugs 4 Kye as this sat they r goin 2 ride again preparing 4 next 08 race season. So aft getting all e bike parts, I make it a fast 1 2 get out of Jhr. So my team was still there at e plc where we meet up 2 discussed bout few issues. Normal, race n registering ourselves as legal society or legal organization. E reason is tt so we didn’t get int2 trouble with e law.

So everythin went on b4 n aft l left 2 go 2 Jhr. So suddenly, e team talk 2 me. Y I like 2 keep things 2 myself. e reason y I like 2 keep 2 myself is tt I don’t want 2 bother ppl bout my prob. So jack speak out n say we r team. Just don’t b shy in sharing e prob. So I told them frankly e reason y I went 2 Tampines 4 2 days str8. I feel tt I shld nt lied bout e things tt I do. It’s nt bout privacy bt it’s just bout honesty n integrity. There’s a frens of mine who I treated him like a father, e reason y u can know e things goin 2 happen in advance bcoz u’re honest. I feel tt I’ll try 2 be as honest as possible. So I told them tt I talk things out with my some1 special in my life bout our situation tt we faced. So I told them e prob shld settled nw. so e discussion went on bout myself 1 things Jack n Kye noticed tt I like 2 keep e prob 2 myself n also e anger in me r burnin. So I told them what happened 5 yrs back when I was in sec sch. Where I gt e mid crisis with my dad. E mid crisis happened due 2 favourism in family. Tt’s where e prob arise so they talk 2 me n give me some advise n tips2 settle it. so I told them I alr settle with my dad with tt prob. Tt’s where I told them tt I started 2 walk on my own 2 feet w/o my father supportin me. I told them I was rebellious tt time of what had happened. So they told me 2 loose up a bit as I was quite rigid fr what they observed. So I think I’m lucky 2 get this kind of ppl who r ard me n help me at e same time 2 shape myself in2 some1 better in life. Nt only them bt I owe e D’fy n also my foster mums who helped me durin e dark yrs of my life. Ppl who encouraged me 2 further my studies n also helpin me givin me some hopes of getting on with life with e failure tt I faced.

Like Jack says tt time bout my feelin 4 some1. U can run bt u can’t hide bro. so what he is tellin me is correct. My feelin 4 some1 was still in my heart. Even though we r nt 2gether nw. as I had talk things out, tt day I told her tt my feelin 4 her will nvr fade away unless I find some1 like her in my life currently or in e future. I went thru 4 yrs of hell since 2002 till 2006. I jealous bout my frens havin a gd R/S. spendin their time n showerin their love 2 their special 1. Bt what happened 2 me was a nitemare as I failed again in R/S. every sec of my life, I was askin myself y I fail in R/S. bt till nw e ans could nt b found. I thought I was out of e dark when I found her bt situation makes me fall back in2 e dark again. Every sec of life I was searchin e true meanin of life. In shaping myself better person in life. Currently, e pain in my knee starts 2 come back again due 2 motorX. I snapped my knee last sat n e pain started back. My frens advise is 2 consult e doc 4 knee. Bt i'm tryin bt 2 bz 2 go n consult e doc.

Confused

2007-12-04T11:12:00.000+08:00

Yest, went 2 meet up with e team as usual at Jln Asas. This time round is at 7pm. So I make my way there n meet jack. He’s e 1^st among us 2 rch there. So we talk n I buy drinks n discuss with him bout motorX issue. He told me tt he left shoulder back was swollen as my helmet had hit his shoulder when we fall fr e bike when he pillion me last sat on e way out of e track. So Kye came late n he had 2 buy round of drinks 4 us. Standard Misfitz protocol, those who came late has 2 buy drinks. So Raf was e last 1 2 rch n he buy another round 4 us. As usual we do a review on last sat ridin. What r challenges tt r involved n also what r e steps n tips tt we gave each other in order to improve on. Looks like Raf has change his tyres in2 off rd tyre. Shld make him faster on e track we went last sat.

Class ended b4 3.30 yest. Gt a call fr my bro tt my nephew was in hospital as he had a cut on his forehead. Luckily was a minor 1, Alhamdulillah. Then my bro called me back again sayin tt my nephew was discharge aft he gt e stitches. So cancel e plan of goin 2 hospital. Guess where I went? 2 Causeway point get myself a new pair of sandal. My previous 1 was alr wear off n e base of it started 2 came out. Gt it fr sports connection. It seems tt I like 2 wear e outdoor type of sandals. All my sandals I bought fr there e same type bt different colours. So bought it alr n e colour is red orange.

Listen 2 a song at my frens blog. E meanin of e song was really deepenin in my heart bout w/o some1 in my life. Still remember e times I spent with some1 special. Those time I was still in e dark path searchin 4 lights in my life aft my heart break b4 comin 2 RP. I was supposed 2 work yest bt aft my nephew was in hospital n my mind is nt thinkin well, so I decided nt 2 work. Along e way hm in e MRT, I’ve been thinkin bout my fate in R/S. Y most of my R/S didn’t last long. I was totally in e confused state at tt moment. Y my feelin was betrayin me. Even I’ve let go of e person bt still keep on rememberin her all this while. I wonderin y till 2day I keep thinkin of her aft brokin off 4 mths ago. I reflects back e reason y I failed in R/S I think tt I didn’t keep 2 my words n promises. I used 2 promises my foster mum sayin tt as long as e diploma is nt in my hand, I would nt involved in R/S. Bt it seems tt I break my promise n nw sufferin in a lot of lost in life. I was terribly nt in shape mentally of what happened in my life. Tryin 2 get over it n moved on with my life. Even though I had 2 accept e facts tt she left me in my life. Sometimes when I’m alone n seein happy couple makes me flash back e time spent together n cried 2 myself alone. I just realized tt sacrifices in R/S r 1 of e factors. Had a dream bout her again. I was tryin 2 figured out what xactly it means. Bt was unsure bout it. still tryin 2 figured it out. Just pray hard tt it doesn’t end with bad n also hurtin situation.

Inspiration & Aspiration

2007-12-02T19:59:00.001+08:00

Had a gd ridin yest at tanah merah track. Guess what?? I was totally drench with mud when I rch e main track at tanah merah. Gt lost on e way 2 e track. I read wrongly bout my team msg, Changi Naval base entry bt I went in str8 2 Changi naval base entrance. So stop n asked e guard of Changi Naval base whether there r any kangaroo track ard there. When talkin 2 e guard, Kye called me n told me I overshot n had 2 turn back. So there I went n turn back my way all e way it’s a damn long journey 2 where they r. managed 2 locate n meet them at e track entrance. Push my bike in 2 e entrance reason is bcoz, dun want 2 get fined by TP even though e entrance is blocked by some rock. Then pillion Raf 2 e track. We gt lost along e way 2 e track as Raf n I were e lead man 4 e team 2 e tracks. Had 2 turn back n when Raf n I rch e 2^nd entrance 2 e track, e rest had left us n were on their way thru. Bt luckily they didn’t left us totally. So make our way thru e track n I didn’t xpected e trail 2 e track is wet. I was drench with mud till rch e track. It’s been a long time since I drenched myself with mud. I still remember e last time I drenched myself with mud is when I was in e corp. Tt was bloody 4 yrs back. I still remember where I went thru e hell parade as my unit was bout less than 0.5% 2 get a silver unit award. I was still a specialist at tt moment of time. we had a bad day at e track as my team most of them didn’t filled up their tank 2 full tank. So we didn’t managed 2 conduct e fun race. So we packed up n head back 4 2 main entrance. Thought it was a fast way out bt was a hell 1 as there r sand n muds all e way 2 entrance. My balls r at my throats when my frens when up a slope n we didn’t know tt is a jump section. So r hold up along e way out as most of us fall along e way out of e trail. So we managed 2 rch main entrance b4 e sky get dark. There we discussed where we shld go n pump our tank. So we went 2 simpang bedok. I, Jack n Kye washed up at e petrol stn. We split fr there. Kye n Jack changed up had dinner at simpang bedok. Bt I, Raf n his cousin head back 4 hm.

So rch hm n get a super scoldin fr my mum. Coz my clothin is wet with mud. My mum was reluctant 2 let me play motorX. Scared of me getting injured. It seems tt fr young till a grown up young man 2day my mum was really pay attention 2 me. it seems tt my dad was e can’t b bother type bout me. At least, I didn’t risk my life at e rd n get my licence revoke 4 racin. I washed up n KO aft tt immediately. Johnny was furious with as I cancel e Jhr trip with him.

Every day of my life, I’ve been lookin 4 new things. At e same time, lookin 4 new inspiration n aspiration. New things r found when I met Jack n Kye. Both Kye n me were eager 2 try motorX. We alr try tt. Bt myself is tt motorX is nt enough. Tryin 2 find something’s tt can b new 2 me.

Still remember e day I passed out as an officer in NCC. Fully dress up in a nice n smart ceremonial NO 1 uniform. Nt all r able 2 wear e NO 1 uniform as it is only 4 parade with VIP present. So there I was standin in e parade square with my comrades. E day I feel tt all e sacrifices tt I made 2 b an officer was meanin full as 2^nd day of Hari Raya I booked in 4 my course. Even though when I passed out my parent, D’fy n my X GF were nt there 2 witnessed it. My senior officer who was e instructor durin my course wear 4 me my rank tt I earned. E phrase tt I still remember till 2day is when e chariman of NCC Dr Arthur Beng gives e words of encouragement n motivation durin e valediction speech. “IF U FACED WITH ANY OBSTACLE IN E FUTURE, LOOK BACK 2 E DAY OF DEC 12, 2003 WHERE E HAPPIEST MOMENT OF UR LIFE WHERE U PASSED OUT AS AN OFFICER 2 LOOK 4 NEW INSPIRATION N ASPIRATION IN UR LIFE”. Till 2day I still look back in2 e day I passed out as an officer 2 look 4 new inspiration n aspiration 2 helped me move on in life with e failure tt I faced whether in daily life n R/S.

Turnin point of my life

2007-11-30T13:58:00.000+08:00

Yest, aft trg met e team as usual. Jack n Kye pick me up by car at Wdld MRT taxi stand. Went 2 Al-Ameen Wdld 4 discussion n supper. We meet Raf there. There we talk bout e Ayer Hitam race this 22 Dec. Jack was eager 2 race as he had nt been racin or ridin 4 1.5 yrs. Bt Kye was nt ready 4 e race. Yes, he can race too bt it just tt he would nt like if he's last in e race. We had some conversation n discussion whether both of them shld race. Finally, we came 2 a decision tt we shld nt compete 4 e Ayer Hitam race. The reason is tt most of us don't have enough trg, kit n also 4 Kye, it's like sendin a lamb 4 slaughter. So we raised issue of my bike. I told them tt my bike shop take in value 4 my bike is 1.3k. So gt some advise fr e team n also think of another alternative ways of gettin a kangaroo which can b use 4 workin n also racin. So i make up my mind of nt changin bike as i had 2 fork out another 400 bucks 2 top up e remainin of e my bike. So finally Raf is goin 2 ORD next wk. ORD OH!!!!. It's gd things 2 see most of e guys r startin 2 settle dwn in life. Raf managed 2 get a job b4 he ORD n startin immediately aft he ORD.

It seems tt i learnt a lot of things in life as i mixed ard with a lot of ppl with different personalities n also backgr. Like mention earlier, every1 is stabilin n settlin dwn. It makes me think tt i'm goin 2 b like tt in 5 yrs time. Ppl whom i met teaches me e way of life n also e turnin point of it. As i go on life, i found out tt nt all bad ppl r alwayz bad. Bt i met a guy who i regards as father durin e era of workin in Suntec. E person who was havoc durin his youth time. Bt he came 2 a turnin point of life where he thinks back tt he was growin older as time bypass. I was glad tt he shared his xperience with what he does durin his youth time. I take as a learnin process 2 shape myself in2 a better man in life. N e advice he gave me is tt plz avoid all this if possible. I came 2 think bout myself what bout me in 5 yrs time. A lot of things i learnt in life n what makes me change throughout my journey in fulfillin my destiny. I was there when i'm 18 settin e pace n goals of what i want 2 b in 5-10yrs time. Where other youth r out there enjoyin every sensation of life. I was glad tt i think long term.

I can see tt e differences in me n my frens. Others r enjoyin while i was strugglin 2 survive e world out there. E turning point of life 4 me is when i had a mid crisis with my dad. Tt's where e turning point of my life started. Where i learnt tt i shld nt depend on my elderly bt 2 b independent young man walkin with my own 2 feet. At tt point of time, i was totally disappointed with my dad of hw i was treated differently with my sis. I can see a clear cut of e favourism tt is in e family. So i decided tt i shld b on my own 2 feet provin 2 him n also my relatives who r sayin bout me tt i will nt make it in life. A long e way of provin e ppl ard me wrong met my foster mums. 1 who teaches me religious class n e other teaches me e meanin of life. On top of tt i joined Honeywell as trainee technician as part of course criteria of education. There i was nurtured n trained 2 b some1 who r responsible. I wouldn't b what i m 2day if nt bcoz of this bunch of ppl who helped me shape myself in2 better man as day goes by. Nt only them bt my band bunch. We r considered blood bros as we go a long way of friendship of 7 yrs. W/o them givin me e support all this while i would nt think tt i came 2 this point currrently.

Another turnin point of my life is where i see my foster family r struggling with life. What i learnt is tt w/o education u can't go far in life. So i start 2 think what r e goals tt i want 2 b in life. When i enter RP 2006. I was visualizin 3 yrs is damn long bt nw i was seein it only left with 1 yr 2 go b4 i graduated. I'm 1/2 way thru my goals in life. Bt e only failure till nw tt i was unable 2 chng is e R/S. Sometimes it makes me wonder y i was a failure in R/S. What's make me learnt in life is tt findin e a life partner is nt based on status bt e honesty n sincerity of both of us. I hope tt e person who i loved in life was able 2 give me this.

Journey of My life

2007-11-28T10:23:00.000+08:00

June 26 afternoon, 1987. E day i was given birth by my mum. E moment of happiness share between my siblings n my parent. Aft 9 mths of borin me with e pain tt she faced just 2 give birth 2 me. At last e pain was over. There was where e embarkment of e journey of my life begin. It's a virtual cycle in life where death n e born of new generation takin over. Fr just a baby till i was nurture 2 what i m 2day. I reflect n imagine fr e time my mum give birth 2 me till e day i turn in2 a young man 2day.

Sometimes i was wonderin hw did my mum was able 2 feed e 7 of us. Sad 2 say tt 1 of my bro passed away at e age of 9 yrs old. Suffering from fits n was unable 2 b saved at tt moment of time. With just my dad workin n supportin e whole family. E 1st education i received is Kindergarten which is at Yishun. Tt's where my mum send me just 2 get me educated. As time bypass, i enter pri sch which is Peixin pri. I think that i change a lot in thinking and also attitude throughout e journey of my life. It seems that i was notorious durin pri sch time where my parent received calls fr my teacher almost everyday. Almost get expelled fr sch as 1 incident happened where i broke e principal office window. My mum bein called 2 sch bout this n was told tt i would b expelled of what i had done. Bt i was lucky tt 1 of e OM knows my mum quite long n he helped me in nt gettin expelled fr sch. Aft my mum, e OM n e principal had a talk, they say tt they would nt expelled me bt my mum have 2 pay 4 e liablities of e damages tt i had done. So everything settled when my mum agreed 2 e term n condition. Guess what happened when i rch hm?? My dad was waitin 4 me n w/o any warnin, he kick me like a ball in e hall. I almost get stabbed by my dad with a knife. Tt was e 1st time i saw my dad really lost his patience 2wards me all this while. I was lucky 2 survived tt rage of my dad due 2 my mum who blocked my dad fr stabbin me with a knife. So my bro pulled me 1 side n talk 2 me bout this matter. Sayin to me tt what else i want?? Dad worked day n nite just 2 support u 4 ur study n also my necessary income. I burst in2 tears when my bro says tt 2 me.

At e same time, i was colored by my relatives at tt point of time saying 2 their child nt 2 mixed with me as my attitude n result of study. I was furious at tt moment when ppl passin tt remarks sayin tt i would nt make it in e future. Ppl see me as i was like a thrash 2 e community. Most ppl thought tt my sis will b e 1 who will make it at tt moment. I managed 2 graduate fr pri sch in 1999 even though i was in EM2 n was unable 2 make 2 academic or express stream. Bt i was grateful tt i was able 2 moved on 2 sec sch.

E yr 2000 where i enter Greenridge sec. E beginnin of a new education lvl where i meet new ppl with different backgrs. I learnt a lot there n meet my band members n met my X GF. Acit, Amie, Aled n Aim. At e same time, my vision was 2 improved on my grades upon enterin new sch. Turnin over 2 a new leaf where i wished 2 change 4 e better in term of attitude n result. I was grateful n was shocked when i see my result. I was a 1 of e top 10 students in my stream throughout my education in Greenridge sec. Tt's where i start 2 regain ppl respect. I show them tt i'm able 2 make it 4 my future. All this while, they had been thinkin tt i was e cannot make it type bt i prove them wrong. It's been a rocky rd 4 me as i was tryin my very best 2 change myself 4 e better. Durin e evolution of turnin myself in2 some1 better, i was thinkin whether ppl r willin 2 accept me with an open arm. Like my frens say,"IT TOOK JUST A SEC 4 A PERSON 2 TURN BAD BT IT TAKES YRS 4 A PERSON 2 CHANGE HIMSELF IN2 SOME1 BETTER". I think back again what he is sayin is true. Bt i took it as a challenge 4 me 2 turn myself in2 some1 better in life. Faced with a biggest challenge durin e evolution of changin myself when i had a mid crisis with my dad. Where favourism in e family was e cause of it. I almost whack my dad with e dining chair bcos of hw he treat me durin dinner. I was totally like that's nt me at tt point of time. I was totally disappointed by e way of hw my dad treated me. It took me a 4 yrs journey in acceptin my dad back due 2 what he has done.

Passed N lvl with flyin colors n enter ITE in 2004. Where i learnt 2 walk on my 2 feet. I worked part time n study at e same time. It seems tt i had think far tt i'm 17 at tt time n shld b independent enough. W/o my mum supportin me in term of income n etc. This is where i start 2 set what i want 2 achieve in certain time n yrs. E hardwork tt i put in fr sec sch till ITE pay off as i managed 2 enter RP.

Upon enterin RP, i met e Selatras n also e Misfitz. As time bypass, i realised i meet a lot of ppl in life.

I reflects back tt i went thru a long way in life. Fr a baby till who i am 2day. Bt this will nt happened if nt bcos of my mum n also e D'fy n Misfitz. I always remember e words or phrase "REMEMBER WHERE U CAME FR". This has always been kept in me as it reminds me of nt 2 4get where i came fr n also help me 2 shape in2 better man.

Shagged

2007-11-26T11:55:00.000+08:00

Woke up this mornin n see e watch it's 7.10am. Damn feel like dun want 2 come 4 class as 2day is programmin module. Gt big prob with it n most of my frens can just program like water without having any error n prob. So gt up n washed up gettin ready 4 sch. Push my bike 1st in2 e carpark n went off to MRT. Was suprised when rch MRT, usually e time i used 2 board e train r packed with commuters bt 2day suddenly it's like a ghost town. So whatever it is just gt in2 e train n make my way 2 sch.

Last sat was a tirin day 4 me. Usually i was nt tt tired or tt shagged. I came 4 e selection 4 artistic single selection. As i was bein told by e instructors 2 come even though i dun feel like playin next yr IVP. So my eye r a bit sleepy even though aft doin physical trg conducted by Cik Mail. So aft physical trg, we do revision on our artistic category pattern. I was like a zombie bcos too shagged 2 do it bt pushed thru it. So e selection started. We follow our ballotin no. E last time i was 1st 2 go bt this time i was 3. Bt i pity my partner, Fias bcos he was bout 2 do e horse kick when he faced with a leg cramped. I was shocked 2 see tt bt e instructors managed it n everythin shld b ok i guess. So khai came down 2 passed me his throttle cable which snapped last wed. So he hang ard with e team till i finished my selection n we went off 4 a drinks at Banquet CP. So we talk bout things n e prob with his bikes tt he faced. At e same time, waitin 4 my team 2 msg me where they ride their kangaroos bt in e end they did nt msg me. So accompany Khai 2 go n smoke b4 we split off. So went off back 2 hm e 1st thing tt i do was 2 unpacked n change up n totally KO aft nt gettin a gd rest last night b4 e selection. Just imagine i KO at 7.30pm n wake up at 7.30am. WOW, 12 solid hrs of sleep. Tt sat nite was supposed 2 go 2 JB 2 buy Khai bike parts. Bt since i KO, i thought of goin on sun nite. Bt i managed 2 go in e afternoon as 1 of colleague want 2 work as he dun hv any slot so i gave him some of my slot n he took over me fr 2-11pm. So rushed 2 JB 2 get Khai bike parts bt guess what it's e wrong throttle they give n nw gt 2 go back n change 4 him. So at least he dun waste his money n gt spare throttle just in case his throttle snapped again. Aft sending his parts, i went 2 meet my team at Jln Asas. I was late n gt 2 buy rounds of drinks. So no choice bt 2 buy fair n square.

So there was my team n Imah, Kye GF so we discussed bout e next yr budget of our team n what r e equipment tt we would like 2 purchase. So discuss bout my 2A bike. My team recommended me 2 carry on installment of Raf XR4 n i say let me think bout it. So e conversation when on till we split at midnite. So gt hm n get some rest n preparin 4 next day.

Career

2007-11-22T15:46:00.000+08:00

Went over 2 Tampines yesterday nite 2 met Khai 2 rectify what is his bike problem. So leave sch at bout 7.20. Guess what happened? Tummy ache n hv 2 do business 1st. So aft finishin up my business, start my bike n ride 2 Tampines. E sky look as if it's goin 2 rain. Bt there r some droplets of it when i was ridin along the way at TPE. Rch there on time bt what makes me late is tt i lost my way there. I came 2 a junction which was supposed 2 turn left bt instead i turn right. So i make 1 big round by passin by TP. So i managed 2 rch e stadium n give Khai a call n asked him where is e directory 2 his hs. So he told me just go str8 fr e stadium n turn left aft e mosque. I follow his instruction n managed 2 rch his plc. So called him down n check what's wrong with his bike. So aft rectifyin, e problem with his bike is e handle bar n also e throttle cable. It's seem tt his throttle cable had snapped off n was unable to function. Without e throttle cable, hw is e bike supposed 2 move off. So aft rectifyin it went over 2 his hs 2 get my hand wash as my hand is dirty with oil stained. Yes, it maybe dirty bt i like it bcoz i missed e hands on xperience tt i used 2 had in ITE n also Honeywell. It's been 3 yrs aft nt doin any technical or engineerin stuff since enterin RP as IT student. I think tt i could excel more in technical side than IT side. Aft washin my hand, we went over 2 Yasaalaam restaurant. Was surprised as i thought it had shut down it's business totally but instead they move 2 Tampines area. Had a chat with him 4 an hr n go off 2 JB.

I was late 2 meet my team at JB. E reason is simply is tt i'm fr Tampines n caught up in e jam at Woodland checkpoint. So managed 2 cross e causeway ASAP n get my $$$ change chop2 n meet them under e bridges near e JB checkpoint goin 2wards Singapore. Had a burger there n drinks b4 we head back 4 hm. E original plan 4 JB was tue nite bt e rain had nt stop n we had 2 call it off.

Rch hm at bout 11.30. Some1 is waitin 4 me in e hall. It's my mum. Unpacked my stuff n talk 2 her. Then i raised this issue of career prospect. Initially, i told tt i wish to sign on in bt told her what r e actual plan tt had done. Told her tt if i nvr sign on, then i'll b a teacher or an engineer. Bt my mum wished me 2 hv a career which does nt relate 2 government sector. Bt i told my mum is tt it's my passion 2 hv this kind of career. My bro would like me 2 sign on as PCG(Police Coast Guard) bt my frens told me 2 sign 4 Firefighter bt i would like 2 sign 4 army. This hv always been taken in2 consideration of my career prospect. My mum told me y dun i went back 2 Honeywell as most of the management knows me. Yes, correct even everything tt r bein provided 2 me by them includin sponsorship 4 degree bt i wished 2 b different fr others. Bein unconventional is makin u becomin a successful person as day bpass. Preliminary in my mind is tt there r 2 category which signin on or b teacher. So sooner or ltr hv 2 make up my mind n decide what i want 2 b in 5 yrs time.

Plan cancel

2007-11-21T10:54:00.000+08:00

Well, as usual tue is trg day. Aft class, do my assignment n go 4 my trg. Yesterday, had a gd trg after a long time doesn't really sweat i mean totally ur shirt tt u wearin is like been drench in e rain. It's been a long time i didn't do fitness trg since i left the Corp in 2005. So yesterday was a bit hell 4 me as my fitness level is goin down. Damn!!!, it took me yrs 2 train my fitness 2 certain lvl bt it takes a few sec or even a few mths 4 e fitness lvl 2 go off. Bt yesterday gt a gd fitness trg. Hope tt next trg will b more on fitness as i need 2 prepare myself 4 next yr IPPT. This will determined whether i have 2 serve xtra 2 mths or deduction of 2 mths fr my NS. So trg went as per normal aft e fitness trg, we break into 2 category. Those who interested 2 play sparrin go 1 side n those who interested 2 play seni goes 1 side. As i was e Seni capt, i took those pesilat who wish 2 play tunggal 4 e upcomin IVP. So had a hard time as 1 of them hv 2 start fr scratch e other alr know n just need to polish it up. Well, both of them had hard time when i teach n train them 4 tunggal. I told them nothin comes 4 free. They r lucky tt they gt me 2 teach them what bout our instructors who train them?? They will cryin all e way durin e trg. Bt times changes as we move on. I told them tt dun play a fool. As i had give my words 2 my former capt sayin tt next yr IVP, i dun feel like playin. Bt i will try 2 coach e seni team 4 next IVP. 2 me, when a words came out of my mouth, i would try 2 accomplished it. N i told e pesilat e reason y i dun wish 2 play next. I think tt it's time 2 hand over 2 e newbies as i had achieved what i want in this yr IVP. Even though i managed 2 bring back only bronze medal bt 2 me it mean a lot as tt was my 1st medal in silat. E sacrfice tt i made 2 achieve it makes me feel tt everybody deserve 2 shine themself. Fr what i see is tt e new bunch of newbies gt potential in rplcin e seniors soon. It is just a matter of time.

E team almost get banned fr usin e martial rm as 1 of e pesilat r caught by e OSG personnel 4 wearin slipper. Lately, there r a lot of IG's bein banned fr sports complex as most of them r caught usin slipper when attendin activity. So had a talk with the Asst Director of OSG n was given warning tt we shld nt used slippers. So as usual i informed e team n most of them r grumblin bout it. It seems tt most of them dun look on e bright side. Trg end at 7.05pm. I announce e news n get ready 2 changed up n went hm. Walk 2 MRT with Mai, Azhar, Nina, Azmi, Sadikin, Lukman n Amin. Along e way, i talk 2 Sadikin n Azmi bout e prob tt r currently available. Sad thing is tt most of them hv nt open their mind broad enough. I just hope tt they will open their mind broad apart in future.

Gt hm just in time when e rain started. Was in toilet when Izzad call me bout e IVP towel sponsorship. So chat with him 4 almost 2 hrs at e same time waitin 4 e rain 2 stop as i'm goin 2 JB 2 pump petrol. Bt in e end, e plan cancel as e rain r becomin more n more heavier. So told Kye tt we went tmrw nite. So e plan 4 tmrw nite will b JB.

Misfitz meetin

2007-11-20T08:31:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, i'm supposed 2 work bt in e end i did nt work, Simply e reason is tt i'm down with high fever fr sun when i gt back hm fr work. My mum was makin noise in e mornin askin me 2 go n see e Dr n get medication 4 my fever. Since my temperature is goin down, i told my mum tt i'm goin 2 sch. I'll go n see e Dr if i can't take it durin sch. Bt syukur alhamdullillah, i was able 2 stay till e end of e class. Aft class as usual do my assignment b4 goin hm, standard protocol as i would nt worry bout doin it ltr can rest once rch hm. E moment i rch hm no 1 was at hm. So 1st thing tt i do is 2 pack my stuff 4 tue trg. Aft settlin it, i get a rest by slpin at my parent rm till 8.30 till i gt a msg fr my team. Sayin meet at KTM at 9. At 1st, i thought of nt goin as my condition r nt tt well bt since there is no food at hm, i gt up wash my face n change up n start my bike.

As my bike petrol was almost 2 reserved, i went 2 e nearest petrol kiosk 2 pump it. I was utilizin pump 5 n e amount tt i pump is 3 bucks+++. Bt guess what happened? E cashier key in e wrong pump no n deducted 70++ bucks fr my NETS. I was like "WHAT E F**K". Lucky tt i wasn't furious at tt moment of time as i was nt feelin well. E can't b bother type attitude. Bt she refund me in cash term which mean i hv 2 go down 2 e deposit machine 2 deposit e refund tt i get.

Met e team at KTM. I xpected tt 2 buggers as usual came late. Jack n Kye. Among all of us, i was e 1st 2 rch most of e time. E moment i rch KTM, get a table 4 e team. Then came Raf n finally e 2 buggers. As usual e Misfitz protocol, those who came late hv 2 buy rounds. So e lucky person 4 e day is Kye. I n Raf eat e fried Kway teow fr e seafood stall n Jack eat chapati. So e meetin kick off with e plan 4 this sat. As Kye went 2 retrieved his KTM, Jack plan 2 ride this sat at Tanah Merah track. Damn!!! it seems tt every1 in e team alr gt their race machine left myself alone. Bt Jack advise me tt dun rush u can still ride usin his or Kye KTM. Just get use 2 it n master e basics technique. Since i was nt workin this sat, they told me 2 come n join them. Bt e main concern is tt this sat i hv 2 go 4 selection 4 IVP 08. I told him tt i dun feel like playin 4 next IVP. Bt his comment is tt just go 4 selection whether i gt selected or nt different story. Almost won e gold medal 4 my single artisitic category just bcos i cocked up my timin which is 1 sec less than e xpected time. So Cik Mail told me 2 play again n bring back e medal since i failed 2 bring back e tunggal medal 4 this yr. I'm proud tt Selatra was in 2nd plcin 4 this yr IVP. We almost grabbed e Artistic category overall champion trophy if i had nt cocked up my single category. So this sat will b e selection n i look forward 2 it. If i'm nt selected, my plan is 2 coach e seni team 4 next yr IVP preparin them 4 next yr. This time round of selection there r a lot of ppl who want 2 play 4 e IVP. So i just thought of givin e newbies a chance since i had play e 2 category with my sparrin partner.

We split fr KTM at 10.30 xactly headin 4 hm. Every1 was shagged n i falled sick. When i rch hm, i was unable 2 slp. At e same time, i felt thristy n went down 2 7-11 2 bought some drinks. Was so shocked when i read a msg some1 send 2 me a gd nite msg. Nvr xpected 2 happened bt think it as normal. Till here then. Next upcomin event will b e Ayer Hitam race. See u there.

Sacrifices

2007-11-19T09:00:00.000+08:00

Lately, i've been workin 4 very long hrs. It's look like i've become e old Omen again who works n study only w/o thinkin of any fun n enjoyment in my mind. My colleague give me a comment on e no of hrs i clock. "MAN, KAU NK NAIK PELAMIN PE?" keje long hrs. This happened 2 yrs back when i was in ITE. I broke off with my X GF. It seems tt i was saddened by e sudden move made by her. She had another man while with me. Tt's where i start 2 change in term of attitude n my personalities. B4 e sad moment happened, i used 2 socialized with ppl bt aft e incidents my thinkin in mixin ard with ppl change. I even separate myself fr my band tt time as i was 2 sad of what happened between me n my X GF. My thinkin 4 tt moment of time is 2 work n also b a scholar. By this way makes me feel better n carry on with life. 2 a certain xtend, i start 2 MIA when my band r goin 4 jammin n also practices. This problem was raised 2 my close buddy Amie AKA Johnny. It looks like whenever they called me my reply was bz, gt 2 work ltr. So i was prank by them when i recieved a call tt sayin 1 of my band member was beaten up. So w/o any hesitation, i rushed down 2 e plc. N when i rch there, everybody was waitin 4 me. There i was told tt it's just a prank called made by Johnny 2 test whether i value e frenship n sacrifice in comin down. I was bein lectured by them bout e incidents tt happened 2 me. They understand bout what i'm goin thru. Bt this is nt e way 4 me 2 settled it. I burst into tears in front of my band member. E pain tt i went thru is unbearable 4 me. From e day i know them till present, they hv been there 4 me in a lot of ways. E sacrifice tt we made 2 maintain our brotherhood are more valuable than diamonds. U can buy all this stuff bt can u buy e brotherhood tt u build with them aft a very long yrs. Certainly nt. I was grateful tt i hv e D'fy, Misfitz n even my foster mum who showed me what is e meanin of life.

Sacrifices r nt just in R/S bt also other things. In Misfitz, most of us did nt come fr a stabile family backgr. We evaluate each of us when we just meet up. It's seems tt most of us r independent in gettin what we want in life. Sometimes, i was wonderin tt i sacrifice a lot 4 e love 1s bt some of them just dun see n realised it. IN ORDER 4 U 2 B SUCCESSFUL IN LIFE, U HV 2 SACRIFICE 4 WHAT U WANT IN LIFE. EVEN IT'S GOIN 2 COST U AN ARM N A LEG.

Failure

2007-11-16T08:22:00.000+08:00

As usual on thurs nite, my team would gather n meet up 4 some issues. E normal places tt we went is either Simpang Bedok, KTM or Jln Asas. I came late as i'm fr silat trg. Every1 in e team is targettin me as our standard protocol anyone who came late will hv 2 buy round of drinks. So was lucky enough 2 escape fr this as yesterday there r only e 3 of us. 1 of us was nt ard as he went out 2 attend somethin. Then we start 2 raised e issues as usual R/S, motorX n etc.

E 1st issue tt we raised is R/S. As Jack was e oldest in e team n married, we get opinion on what r e aspect of R/S what we should do n what we should nt do. There r certain things tt he point it out 2 us tt when a quarrel between a couple, both of them will start 2 boost e EGO in them. So he gave e advise n tips on hw 2 handle it when we faced it nw or ltr in e future. So aft finishin our 1st round of drinks, we order another drinks n carry on with e motorX issue.

As i know tt my team r all bike freak includin me myself, we gt 2 know tt e Tuas Track will be open next wk 4got e date bt fr what i know is tt it will b officiall open next wk. So e team plan was nt 2 ride there as we hv 2 pay e entrance fee which cost 28 BUCKS 4 4 hrs of ride. DAMN!!, tt can pump my 1 wk petrol tank till overflow. Jack was like makin comment tt we can ride in Malaysia track fr mornin till we r drain out w/o havin 2 pay a single cents. So we decided tt in S'pore, we would train at Tanah Merah or Area 57. At e same time, we would always try 2 ride at Malaysia track which is at Gelang patah, Bandar Nusajaya or Ulu Penggeli. Sound awesome.

Gt a ride fr Jack yesterday aft e meetin as i nvr ride my bike. It seems tt lately i've nt been ridin 2 sch like normal bt instead takin public transport. I only ride my bike on wkends as i gt 2 work. Well by takin public transport, my mum face seems happy as she need nt worry bout my safety. Along e way in e car, i talk 2 Jack on what r e issue tt i'm currently facin. It seems bout my previous R/S. So he told me is gd tt i nvr turn back. His reply was dun b like him turn back 2 his wife. He broke his engagement just bout few mths away fr his weddin. Then i told him tt it is his destiny 2 b with his wife nw. E words tt came out of his mouth is tt DESTINY IS SET BY U MY BRO, FATE IS IN E HAND OF ALLAH. So he advise me 2 socialized more with lady frens i mean as a frens nt a player goin ard foolin. In this way, i would learnt more in life bout knowin ladies. Well, what he is sayin is correct.

Other than just this, i told him tt lately i had dreams bout my previous X. It's nt just happened 1 day bt occured 2 days str8 in a wk. I was wonderin whether ALLAH is showin me e truth behind e conspiracy n controversy which i had previously. I just leave my fate of life in e hand of ALLAH he would set it 4 me in term of my death n my marriage. This is what my close frens told me FAILURE IS A STEP 2 SUCCESS, So bro dun worry 2 much, fr our eyes tt we see u r somebody who prove us wrong all this while. Continue with life Insyallah u will find e correct life partners 2 shower ur love 2 n share e tears n joy 2gether.

Bike Prob

2007-11-15T08:29:00.001+08:00

Yesterday, gt back fr sch as usual. since e odessy trg push down on fri. Went back hm with Suhaimi. Everything went fined as i rch hm. Bt ltr my team guy(Kye) called me at ard 9. Askin me 2 accompany him 2 JB. I was bout 2 get some rest as i didn't get enough rest 4 e past few days. Been bz lately with sch, silat n workin. At e same time, i discover my bike tyre is out of air thought of just pump e air at a nearby pertol kiosk. Bt been keep tryin to pump it bt e air seem not 2 be goin in e tyre. So i suspect something is wrong. So decided 2 accompany Kye 2 JB as we heard in e news a lot of undesired incident happen across.

So i dressed up n went 2 my bike n start it. 1 thing tt i hate is went goin JB is e jammed tt u need 2 go thru. Speak of e devil, it really jammed at checkpt. Bt was luck y enough 2 get thru fast enough. Usually, i'm stuck there 4 more than an hour. So aft managed 2 access thru JB i went str8 2 e bike shop where i always service n get my bike repair. Told them what is e prob. So aft rectifying e prob we discovered tt there's a nail in my tyre. DAMN!!!. no wonder e air could nt go into e tyre when i pump it.

So get it patched up and everythin is fined back 2 e normal way e bike used 2 b. Waited 4 Kye at e food stall where we used 2 eat when servicin our bike. At e same time we talk bout r/s n marriage. i always look at my other team ppl as role model in r/s. Most of them r with their partners 4 more than 3 yrs. Bt at e same time feel sad tt most of my r/s end very soon than xpected. Bt i just make hold of e word of my frens AGAINST ALL ODDS tt come. E feelin of losin someone who r part of ur life who u shared e tears n joy 2gether is unbearable like hw i lost my previous X when in ITE time. Sometimes, i'm askin myself y i was tested like this by ALLAH. Bt most of my close frens in RP, e D'FYians n e Misfitz push me ard n kept me goin in life. Everyday of my life, i've been tryin 2 change 4 e better in term of myself n attitude. Even though at times, i can b hot headed type person. So just hope tt i will b able 2 change 4 e better in life.

What makes me feel sad bout my r/s short is tt ppl tend 2 pull e status in me. Feel sad tt nt happened once bt 2xx. Just bcos i'm fr a different backgr, ppl try 2 take advantage of me. 2 me, in r/s is nt bout status bt sharin e same common gr n e turnin pts between u n ur partner.

Till here then......

Bike review

2007-11-14T13:21:00.000+08:00

Well, yesterday nite went to meet my team at Jurong. As 1 of my team guy(Kye) wanted to view his KTM racing machine at West Coast. So as usual, Our so called Chief-In-Command- Jack set e time n place but in the end he came late. As we xpected that to be as usual. But i'm just ok bout him comin late as he went off to buy somethin 4 his pregnant wife. So no comment. But afterall we respect him for what he is as he's e oldest in e team.

After meetin up at his plc, we gt into his car n drove down to West Coast Park. We rch there just in time n e owner of bike rch e same time as us. Both of them negotiate 4 e price as i gt 2 go 2 e toilet 4 business as usual my tummy didn't feel gd fr last wk. Bt aft comin back fr e toilet, there this bunch of guys who i thought is Jack motorcross bunch. Then he told that's another viewer 4 e bike. So we managed to plz e owner as Kye managed 2 pay him 460 bucks on e spot. Everything settle as Kye dream of playin motorX came true in gettin a race machine. Just left me alone. Bt 2 e misfitz, dun worry i'll join u all comin soon aft settlin down on what i need to. Hold on 2 our motto: RIDE, RACE, REVIVE

Till here then.