To keep my memories alive;

Saturday, 18 July 2009
10:26 pm

alhamdulillah, make it thru e 2nd phase of ERS. currently, on HTA course. sooner will b brunei. life so far had been up n dwn. confused and scared of histoy repeating by itself. e feeling of fallin in love again is there. bt scared of putting e high hopes on it. e lady who i had known 4 bout 1 yr. wanted 2 tell her what i feel bout her bt e feeling of bein avoid is in my state of mind. she told me, kite TTM anyway. which means teman tap mesra. i didn´t knw whether she suspected me of havin e feelin 2wards her. 4 me, bein honest is my policy bt does e honesty that i potray paid off eventually. i didn´t want 2 make her in a confused state. 2 men n a lady. it´s me or e other guy. sometimes, i dun knw y i was bein tested this way. is it a sin 4 me 2 fall in love n b with e lady who will b by my side till my last breath.

scared of she would think that all this while tt i helped her is due 2 havin e feelin 4 her. only allah knws hw i feel. i´ve been askin this 2 myself, will i ever get e lady tt i really love n fall 4 in life. i take things positively. things happened in life has its reason. i do admit i feel lonely at times. e loneliness tts killin me sometimes. its nt bout bein desperade bt e feelin of bein alone aft all this yrs. sometimes, i do asked myself, will there b light again in my life. it seems tt it will nvr hv. bt a fren kept me motivated just hang on there. some1 who u´ve been watin 4 will b there, its just a matter of time. she had told me this, alr uncle 2 15 nephew niece yet still solo n nt plannin yet 2 settle dwn. i dun what she meant by tt. if i confessed, will she b able to accept e fact. scared of bein avoid like e previous 1. i go with e flow 4 nw n focus on my ersc n degree which will start soon. ya allah, show me e path 2 e light side n show me who is she tt will b by my side till my last breath.

till here then

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